Insights from 2018

My 2018 started off with an attempt to stay strong for my family after hearing disturbing news October 2017 from my bonus son. I used to be a girl who saw everything as half glass full but after the news everything just seemed bleak.

For almost the entire time of last year I overfilled my plate with anything I could find such as being a volleyball coach, attending Omsi events every month with our kids, attending every birthday and holiday event out there, redecorating my home, listened to our kids heartbreaks, took them to Home Depot crafting events, volunteered and attended at our kids school and sports activities, not to mention attending the festivals a lot of cities have for each month.

Working full time while also doing all of the above created a negative impact on my health. Suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome for as long as I can remember brought my body to finally saying it was kaput. I missed work only as much as I could but still had to stay strong since I was promoted to a lead position in the beginning of 2018 as well. I was running my body to the ground because without realizing it I was on autopilot without really enjoying life.

It was late 2018 after speaking with some wonderful ladies from my church did my outlook in life change drastically! I had realized I let someone steal my hope. It was I who allowed it to happen… No one can steal your hope unless you, yourself, give it away or lose it. And I realized I did just that. I had hope in certain people, in doctors, in counselors, hope especially in the justice system and yet they disappointed me… Until I realized I had my hope in the wrong place, in the wrong people, in the wrong person.

Growing up I was raised in a Christian home of which I hold these beliefs and values to this day. So to lose hope I realized I was doing something wrong. I was no longer trusting in God. No longer trusting in the fact that God had me. So after reading Jeremiah 29:11 like a hundred times my hope and faith started to rekindle. I started to know again that God was and is working out everything together for good. That His plans for me are for good. That God was FOR ME, and not against me. And boy, when I realized that, it felt like a ton of weight was taken off my shoulders! I was finally able to shift my hope and faith back on God.

Now you might ask if after getting my hope back that I got everything I ever wanted and to be honest I have to say no… but recent events have transpired leading me to know that it IS working out together for good.. and now I KNOW that God is still planning my future, and I know it will be GOOD!

So don’t lose hope in whatever it is your advocating for. God is working it all out for good!

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