Mental wellness is just as important as physical wellness.
But what happens when both get compromised? When you get both sick and mentally exhausted?
Well I was exactly there this past Monday.
My youngest bonus-daughter had gotten some kind of stomach bug over the weekend and the toss of ones cookies started in the afternoon and only stopped to give us a break in the evening. And while my hub’s felt a little nauseous it didn’t affect him as it did the youngest. While the rest of the kiddos were doing great I ended up also feeling some of the effects of a stomach bug starting that late Sunday afternoon.
So when my hub’s decided his youngest couldn’t make it to school the next day (monday) due to school policy, he let BM know about it; that the youngest was staying home with us on Monday due to feeling ill and not being vomit-free 24 hrs before returning back to school. My hub’s was aware of his parenting plan order that allowed both parents to take care of their ill children and if there is missed parenting time then to allow a makeup day for that parent. My hub’s did all that.
It was Monday morning after the eldest was already dropped off in McMinnville at his school (1.5 hour distance from our house) and the youngest was still sleeping… when around 8:30am we get a message from the BM telling us the youngest needs to be dropped off at her house now. My hub’s already politely messaged her earlier that he’ll be keeping her overnight due to her illness but with the option of dropping her off that same evening @6pm just to give the youngest some time to feel better and not have her drive with a bucket in her lap since the distance from both homes is quite far.
9 messages (and text messages) later full of threats of contempt of court, threats of coming to take the youngest with all cops behind her on standby, with threats of violating our peace just for keeping the youngest ill child at home without her listening to what the parenting plan actually stated, by then we were mentally exhausted. While legal counsel and I did reread the parenting plan relating to this matter and even though we were right it was still exhausting having been harassed, threatened, and attacked so much in just a mere couple of hours.
The threats and attacks we were previously receiving had ceased for close to two years (since custody paperwork was served on the BM) but the old ways seemed to come right back without skipping a beat. All the memories of past attacks, past threats, the stressors of it all only put my already sick body into an overload. And that’s when my turn of tossing of many cookies took over… and lasted till night.
Now mind you, all threats of coming with cops a blazing behind them subsided significantly when advised the threats were unwelcome and our lawyers are involved in this matter. (The youngest did stay home with us as allotted and was dropped off at school the following day feeling significantly better.)
But sadly this is where the attacks on my mental well-being only caused my already weak physical body into a downward spiral that only time could heal. So the only thing I could do was hold on for the ride… until I could stop puking, until I could walk myself to the bathroom without help, until I could make myself a meal, until I could actually make it in to work… and I finally got there. Two days later. Two days of my hub’s taking over the household, making meals, cleaning up messes done by both the youngest and I, shopping for the middlest’s Christmas party with friends, driving me to and from work, and many more things he did that I’ll just keep between us 😅)
Now it’s Wednesday, with my hub’s receiving a message from BM that the youngest is sick again and she’ll be withholding her from my hub’s parenting time today. (Weirdly enough the youngest was not sick yesterday when she was dragged to a family event during my hub’s designated phone call while also at Red Robin for dinner.. but I digress.) Now for the sake of my mental wellness I don’t care to dwell whether this was done on purpose or whether it’s another fact confirming the threats were just a bullying tactic to try and control the matter to their liking but it does confirm my hub’s followed their parenting plan to a T without threats or malice.
With all that’s said and done I can only be so thankful that the ride is done but while going through it I had no idea when it was ending. When there are things in life that happen without our input, when it’s out of our control, the best thing to do is hang on. And realize this too shall pass. As it did.
There will be times that both your mental and physical well-being get compromised; together. And while it may feel like it’s more than you can handle, just hang on! You’ll get through it! Take one moment at a time and remind yourself; this too shall pass. As mine finally did. Thank goodness!
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