Truth, Please

I. Forgive. You.

The other three magical words.

A harsh word, a negative reaction, dishonesty, a child’s regression from actions done against them, watching someone deteriorate from bullying, an action that violates us, broken promises, and I can go on for all the reasons a person can have an unforgiving heart towards someone.

With having a daughter who does not have her biological father in her life, to all the things that transpired while I was with him, one could easily understand why I should not forgive him. Or better yet why I cannot forgive him. But I knew from what the Bible has taught me was that if I kept unforgiveness in my heart then I would never grow to be the best person God designed me to be. That I would only grow into a bitter woman hating life and all that is around me.

So I said the three magical words; I forgive you. Then I put it into action.

It took me a lot of soul searching, waking up early to pray, countless times of reading the Bible while at times not even understanding what I was reading, and listening to my church’s CDs filled with previous years sermons. (Yep I think I aged myself with that CD comment 🤪) I did all that until one day I woke up and realized something was different… I was no longer anxious, or scared, or hateful… I was at peace!

In this time and age we are used to burying how we feel at the attempt to cover it up. Such as is with forgiveness. How can we say we love someone or we don’t hate someone but still have unforgiveness in our heart towards them at the same time? We cannot. If you say you can then you are not being honest with yourself.

Now I can say that it is not easy, at all!

Even to this day I am finding myself the need to work on forgiveness. Forgiving my bonus kid’s other family is still a work in progress because of all the hardships they’ve caused us. All the untruths that were spread about us which hurt our kids and family. The boundaries that were crossed. My barrenness was shamed. Over 100 grand was spent in court fees and battles trying to ensure my hubs and myself were not erased from my bonus kid’s lives. And even working on forgiving the driver who crashed into me and changed his story after initially admitting their fault…

With so much more. But that’s the problem. When we start making a list of all the things that someone has wronged us with, then the feeling of anger and excuses of why we can’t simply forgive them returns.

So even though the person that wronged you remains as they are, feeling justified in their actions towards you, it takes every bit of the being inside of you to say it. To say “I forgive you”. And keep saying it. Put it into action. Until the day you wake up and realize you no longer hold resentment towards them, realizing that you have peace in your heart. Now while the individual who has wronged you hasn’t changed, however you have.

And isn’t it about time you start living your life? A life where you feel fulfilled. A life where you don’t bring the person who wronged you along. It is time to be free and live the fulfilled life you were meant to live.