Truth, Please

You know what they say; when it rains, it pours. And that’s how it’s been for us recently.

With the pandemic, our financial situation got hit more than some other families so we decided to sell my hub’s vehicle and drive one vehicle between each other to save some money. While many were getting a nice chunk of change from their stimulus payments and new cars being bought left and right, we only got payments for the 3 out of the 5 members in our family. It quickly was used up to pay off some debt and also went towards paying the federal taxes that we owed this year.. along with my daughter’s stimulus used for her much needed bedroom upgrades. She’s getting taller and almost a teenager so a full bed is definitely in the works for her upcoming birthday.

To make matters more difficult I haven’t received a child support payment close to two years (with prior years receiving them sporadically at best) except for one a month ago only to also receive paperwork stating a request has been made to lower the monthly payments even though they were low to begin with and everything else has been paid for our daughter these 12.5+ years from my end without asking my daughter’s father for any assistance.

Then if it’s not stressful enough we’ve had so many changes with my daughter’s distance learning schedule changing weekly if not daily as the days were getting closer to her returning back to in-person classes starting this week two days a week for only 3 hours smack dab in the middle of a working day. And that schedule was only given to me 4 days prior to her returning to school.

Also without really having any big breaks from working at my job, my hands have deteriorated to the point of possible carpal tunnel. To those who suffer from it, understand it affects all aspects of their life.

To top it off, I received not the nicest correspondence from work relating to extra job duties that I performed only to be told it needed to cease and to focus on other work that was being seen as duplicated. Making it feel like my hard work and extra contributions were not appreciated.

Finally to come to full circle of the rain that keeps on pouring.. hub’s was driving our vehicle Wednesday night and heard a weird noise while driving. He pulled over and noticed a huge gash in the tire. Thankfully he was minutes away from home and made it home safe (thank goodness)! In the morning we were able to review the damage caused and it was bad! The tire was completely cut through and there was no salvaging it, gorilla glueing it, patching it, or whatever have you.

That’s when I knew…. with all that’s going on we really had two ways of looking at this. Letting all the stressors affect me to the point of debilitation, causing me to lose days off work, possible arguments ensuing, bitterness sinking in, and all that negativity… OR I could follow my mantra that has been helping me so much as of late; Let go, Let God, Live life.

And that’s exactly what we both did. We followed the latter. Maybe we’ve started getting older and that #adulting has finally sunk in but it felt nice!

To not leave you hanging, wondering how we ended up dealing with all the stressors that seemed to hit us all at once, I will be sharing further down on how we dealt with it in hopes it can help anyone else that may be dealing with a situation similar to ours.

What I’ve noticed in most cases the reason why we, as peoples, get so overwhelmed when many stressors affect us all at once is because of that obvious statement of “the many stressors are affecting us all at once”!

So the first step when we do get hit with many stressors all at once is to break them down and deal with them one at a time. And of course starting with the one that’s most important.

We started of course with the flat tire. I mean we do need to get around, right? 😅 Hubs was out early in the morning removing out the flat tire with the spare I had in my trunk. (Btw I 💯 recommend having a spare in your trunk) Also since my car is fwd it requires me to purchase all new tires for all 4 of them. So after the spare was put on, my hubs called many tire places to find good tires but also tires that wouldn’t break the bank. We were able to find some with my previous car’s dealership and only spent $540 on new tires along with that servicing fee. And that was that, one stressor gone, rain feeling a lot less heavier.

Then tackling the school schedule was next since it was coming up so fast. I spent extra time calling the school who directed me to call the transportation department for the school who would know what my daughter’s school schedule would be. And while they gave me her schedule I was advised it could be changed again 🤦🏽‍♀️. So with that, I at least had an idea what our schedule could be looking like and penciled her schedule into my planner and planned my work around it.

The email correspondence was then dealt with having a great meeting with my supervisor who listened to my concerns, took care of the matter, and that was that. Sometimes when many things are going on at the same time the concern of how an email was sent to you seems big at the time until you take a step back and get some stressors off your plate… only to realize how minor this issue really was 🙃.

With having one car for the both of us situation, it finally came to an end when an appointment was scheduled with a dealership to look into purchasing a car. We needed a car that will be used for the 200+ miles a week drive to pickup our kiddos from their other family, a car that will be used for family trips, and of course traveling to and from work. And after careful consideration we purchased a car last week with some of our savings while financing the rest.

No longer being able to deal with feeling pain and numbness in my hands and wrists while I’m even trying to sleep, let alone working all week long, I finally made an appointment with my doctor. To which they referred me to a specialist to do a nerve test since they believe I do have all the symptoms of carpal tunnel 😔. But at least I got it scheduled and am now waiting for my appointment which is months away since they are so busy.

Now tackling the child support modification is still a work in progress… seeing as how nothing is finalized and the paperwork excluded some things. Now to some this matter may not seem like a big deal to you but those who know my past and the dealings I’ve had related to my daughter’s father know how much it can be. The reminder of all that occurred in the past came up as soon as the name is seen on the paperwork. So while I may still be dealing with this matter the rain is no longer pouring and I can now see the sun shining through into my life!

So whatever stressors you have going on simultaneously, take it one step at a time. The rain may be pouring in your life but you don’t have to let it overwhelm you. And before you know it you’ll be noticing the sun shining in your life. 🌞