Truth, Please

There is always that reassuring feeling when you know your loved one, who has passed away, is now in a better place. But how much more reassuring when you truly experience the passing of a loved one into that better place?

What I mean is that my own mama had that experience with my daddy. For those who may not know it but my daddy recently passed away and very suddenly too, without any warning, or any indication that it could be happening anytime soon. (truly still shocked about it even these 6 months later)

So with my mama giving me her blessing on sharing what she experienced the day of my dad’s passing, I’m hoping to capture it for others to hear and also for me I need it captured for when my grief is too much to bear. With reading it back; it gives me the comfort knowing my daddy is in a better place.

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It was a busy Saturday for mom. This was the last day she was watching her granddaughters at their house while their parents, my brother and my sister-in-law, were out of town. While dad had plans to check up on some work sites (he’s a plumber/construction worker) earlier on in the day.

Close to 1pm, mom finished watching her granddaughters and came home. Right before she got home she called dad and asked him to go pick up some bread since they were out. She felt tired and a bit irritated not having had lunch yet. When she got home dad seemed so happy, as if he had a beam of joy inside of him. He ran up to her and tried to hug her and mom told him she was tired and cranky. He then led her to the table and asked with a sparkle in his eye, “do you see anything different here?” And mom said no. So he led her to the table and showed that he had picked some flowers for her. (Mind you my dad is not a romantic AT ALL. So this was a big deal.) Then he led her to the backyard and shared excitedly, “I swept the porch for you!” (Now another thing about my dad is that he is not able to be around dust and thus him sweeping the deck was quite new.) Then he led her back to the kitchen where he exclaimed about the bread he bought mom that she earlier asked him to buy saying, “isn’t this bread the most softest you’ve ever touched?!”

In all the excitement from dad; mom proceeded to make some lunch for them, some sausages and eggs. She noticed he did not eat a lot but thought nothing of it since he could’ve eaten something before she had gotten home.

After lunch dad came up to mom and asked her if he could hug her now, now that she’s eaten. Mom laughed and said yes.

They proceeded to the living room where they started watching a show that included scenes from Hawaii with sharing of some walnuts and cranberries for snacks. Dad was seated on his computer chair while mom sat in her usual recliner. A typical Saturday. Usually dad’s chair was closer to hers but this time it seemed his back was to her but again mom thought nothing of it.

While they were watching a show that had a scene in Hawaii dad started exclaiming, “Look wifey, look at how beautiful Hawaii is!!!” And to which my mom answered “I see…”. Thinking why was he being so excited in seeing Hawaii when they’ve been to Hawaii close to 8 times before and have seen this scene a few times as well. Now dad exclaimed again, “no keep looking wifey at how beautiful Hawaii is!!!!” To which mom responded “I am looking, I’m not knitting or anything. I’m looking”, staring at the scene still wondering what the big deal was.

As mom kept staring at the tv screen looking at the scene from Hawaii there were different scenes coming up she wondered why he wasn’t exclaiming about these scenes when she started hearing dad making some weird raspy breathes. Thinking he was joking with her like he usually is, she went over to him and saw him laying back in his chair with his eyes closed. Within seconds she noticed his eyes rolled back and his body started changing color.

And that’s when Goodbye Daddy part 1 started. The whole calling me over to assist, my husband performing CPR, my dad being pronounced deceased after multiple attempts to revive him were made.

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Now 6 months later after all that’s happened I still remember this tragic event as if it happened yesterday. Traumatizing to say the least. But after documenting the story of what happened to my dad before he passed over makes me realize more and more that his soul was getting ready to go this day. That even though my dad wasn’t aware of what was going on but in so many ways he was saying goodbye and letting my mom know how much he loved her and cared for her. And as much as we believe he was exclaiming of the beauty of Hawaii, it was already at that point I believe he was looking past Hawaii and already stepping into paradise.

And while I miss my daddy SOOO much but with knowing how my daddy passed away it gives me such comfort and peace knowing he IS in such a better place!